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The typical advice about interracial dating says to “just ignore it.” In reality, it won’t be so easy.
You might have to adjust your relationship to avoid the discomfort and general displeasure of society.
A fetish is purely sexual and the person will be attracted to ALL people of that race/appearance regardless of the person.
By comparison, attraction is often just the spark which initiates a romance. If they don’t think your interracial relationship is based on a fetish, they might think it is a status thing, or a “come up.”This is most seen in interracial relationships with white women and black men.
Once again, this is really sad as it just reinforces a society in which women are pitted against each other.
This can also be a problem with men, such as you getting shunned by your girlfriend’s male friends.
You might not have a bit of racism in you, and your reasons for dating the man/woman of your dreams has nothing to do with race at all. Be prepared for the stares, stupid comments, and maybe even violence (thankfully, this doesn’t occur often anymore in Western countries).
In this article about meeting the parents when you are in an interracial relationship, David Schiller gives some good tips, like pretending that you like all the food and refraining from mentioning race at all. Even if you think your family is totally cool and not the least bit racist, it might still come as a surprise when you show up for dinner with a person from ___ race. Some of these questions might be well intentioned, but ignorant and painful nonetheless.
You will hear lyrics about “white bitches” and how successful black men will “leave your ass for a white girl.” Kanye West then went and married a white girl…Yes, women are seen as trophies and markers of success.
This is a huge problem and you need to be aware of it before you enter into an interracial dating relationship with a white woman, especially if you are black.
You might even learn something too by stepping outside your cultural norms. We can’t help it if we have a preference for one type of look, such as one guy being attracted to skinny women with blond hair whereas another prefers curvy women with darker tones.
How can you tell when it is a fetish and not just attraction?
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And remember, even if the meeting does end up being terrible, ! Here are just some of the questions/comments you can expect to hear when dating interracially.